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| Wednesday, 17-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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My Mother The Princess
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Musher
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This is my mother. She is very high maintenance. Today we had to walk 3 blocks to go to yoga class but she insisted we get a drive because the rain would mess with her freshly blow-dryed hair. I called shot-gun for the front seat but she blatently disregarded the shot-gun rules and climbed in before me. So basically she does whenever she wants. This year she is plowing through my inheritance and redecorating - again.
The worst part is, when I grow up, I want to be just like her.
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| Monday, 15-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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Are We There Yet?
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Spending a day with children that you have dragged out of bed at 5:15 am is not fun. Less fun when you consider airports, boarding passes and security. I am afraid if i would have heard that phrase "are we there yet" one more time from Mr. Bobo I would have planted a weapon on his carry on so security would have dragged him away. I spent most of our flight time flipping through the SkyMall magazine on the flight in complete wonderment. You can purchase anything from a $900.00 gold-leafed chair the exact replica of King Tut's (or so they say) to wax kits. Do people on planes actually buy them? I would have bought the machine that zaps cold-soars on the spot as I have a nasty one coming out. That should look nice with my new bathing suit. Oh well, we are in the sun and have already made our first trip to the mall. I love vacation!
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| Saturday, 6-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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Big Bucket
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Anal Leakage
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The marketing geniuses at KFC have now come out with the "sports bucket", but I am pretty sure they are not actually targeting the sports-minded folks, but rather the big slobs who park their butts on their couches and watch sports all day long. The sports bucket comes with 15 pieces of chicken, chunky fries and something they call the boneless chicken wing. A boneless chicken wing? Remember the McRib? A boneless pork product that was molded to look like a rib. People really eat this stuff. I have a sister who is addicted the KFC. I don't know what is more disturbing - the fact that she likes it, or that she openly admits it in public. I am sure there is very bad stuff happening in her colon.
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| Friday, 5-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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Parking Tickets
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Tickets
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I'm going to the bank now to pay this week's parking tickets. The parking enforcement officers in Toronto are just plain rat bastards. They follow me around the city and "lie in wait" to give me tickets. I caught one red-handed the other night. I fight with them alot and try to run them over in my mini van whenever I get the opportunity. I chased one 12 blocks a few weeks ago - which scared my children, so maybe it was a bad idea.
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| Wednesday, 3-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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Lawn Jockey
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Guardian
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This poor fellow was languishing in one of my neighbours back-yard for years. He was going to throw him out so I offered to rescue him. Right now he is just leaning against my porch because he weighs about 300 pounds and my husband refuses to lug anymore of my so-call "crap" around. I don't think his hernia ever recovered from the 500 pound cement urn stand I rescued several years ago and made him drag to the backyard.
Shortly after I acquired him, someone came to our front door and offered to buy him, so obviously i'm not the only one who thinks he is a treasure. I think originally he was holding a latern, but I might hot-glue a martini glass to his hand.
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| Tuesday, 2-Mar-2004 00:00 |
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Dirty
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Dirty Snow
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The snow is finally starting to melt. This is a display of what my front yard currently looks like. There is going to be a lot of crap to clean up after the thaw, but all the neighbourhood cats will be pleased because then they can once again start using my pathetic english garden as their giant litter box. I hope the squirrels didn't eat all the bulbs I so pain-stakingly planted in the fall.
Perhaps this is Jimmy Hoffa's final resting spot?
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| Tuesday, 24-Feb-2004 00:00 |
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Cable Guy
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Cable Guy
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I love this photo. I wish I took it, but I didn't. It was taken sometime back in the mid 70's and gifted to me by the young man in the photo.
Can anyone tell me what he is doing?
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| Sunday, 22-Feb-2004 00:00 |
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CAT
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This is our pet Amelia. She is a strange little creature. I would like to say she is this lovely, affectionate lap cat but she is not. I often hear my children defending themselves against her attacks in the kitchen. She likes to sit on the heat vents and although we always leave her clean and filtered water, her preference for drinking water is the toilet. If the seat is down she just hops up to the sink and turns it on. She has not mastered turning it off, and that is a bit of a problem. She sleeps on her special cat pillow under my daughter's bed and spends her spare time seeing how many times I will actually put her out and bring her back in in one day.
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| Wednesday, 18-Feb-2004 00:00 |
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Yellow Flower
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Okay, so again my daughter Frank is sneaking in a few photos on the digital (it is her camera after all). She takes better pictures than me. This is a close-up of the roses my husband got me for Valentines day. It was nice, considering all I got him was a card that insulted him. Today is my birthday. What do you think the chances are he wanders into Tiffany's and gets me some new jewellery?
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| Tuesday, 17-Feb-2004 00:00 |
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Toys
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These are cool little vintage warriors I bought dirt cheap at a yard sale years ago. They are all hand panted and they remind me of the village people. I keep them in a shadow box so Mr. Bobo can't get at them and shove them up his nose. I also keep my vintage "Thunderbirds" toys underglass as well. Mr. Bobo also asks to play with them alot. If you want to really bug your kids, keep some really neat toys under glass so they can see them but not touch them, but then make sure you are ready to put out the $$$$ for their therapy when they turn 16.
The Thunderbirds was great tv viewing.
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funny/
Thanks for the reminder, it must be up to 40$$$$$ now!
I have not taken care of this yet....sh_t..........
)
